Broken
by SemperSursum
Summary: She was just too broken, she says. I suck at summaries. Anyway, this is a NACY fanfic.


So this is my first story here. Nacy. Reviews would be highly appreciated. :)

**Broken**

_She was just too broken, she says._

It all began one Friday of August. I was writing a song for Amy in the school's inside garden and I didn't notice it was already six in the afternoon. I was walking towards my scooter when I saw Macy out on the field.

We have the same group of friends but I never knew much about Macy. I just saw her as the school's star athlete and a big fan of Jonas.

She was just standing there. Her clothes were wet but she still looked so beautiful. Her eyes were closed. It was so cold. Why was she out there without an umbrella?

She opened her eyes but it seems like they were somewhat dazed. They were the most beautiful shade of brown I've ever seen. She walked over to the benches then sat down. I went up to her. It seemed like she didn't notice me since she continued to look at something from afar.

I couldn't bring myself to break the silence. I continued to stare at her small figure. The moment was so perfect that even taking a picture of it won't do it justice.

"Are you happy?" Her simple question took me out of my reverie.

"Yes," was my simple reply.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just am," I answered her second question.

"I envy you," she said so softly that I barely heard it from the rain. I didn't ask her why since it seemed like I wasn't supposed to hear that.

"So, why are you out here in the pouring rain?" I asked her instead.

"I just remembered that when I was a little girl, I used to dance in the rain whenever I can. It made me happy. I just wanted to see if still could…" she answered, looking down.

She abruptly stood up. "I gotta go. You should, too. Bye"

After that incident, I saw Macy in a whole new light.

It was already October and one Tuesday, I went out to the fields. I didn't know what came over me. I felt like I just had to get out of there. Amy just broke up with me.

I saw Macy there again, on the same spot the last time I saw her on the field alone. This time, she was sitting on the grass and it wasn't raining. I sat down beside her.

"Is this what real heartbreak is like? I feel so weak." I suddenly asked her. She was staring hard at the grass. I didn't expect her to answer but she did.

"I guess so. They call it heartbreak but you can feel the pain all over. You feeling weak is just normal."

"Why is that?" I asked again.

"It's probably because when you're in love, you don't only give that person your heart, you give everything you've got." Macy answered not looking at me.

"Is this pain gonna last long?"

"It's supposed to last long but you'll get used to it."

"How do you know all of this?" This time, she looked at me.

"I don't know. I just do." She got up then smiled at me. She looked like an _angel._

"I have to go. Bye, Nick."

It was a Thursday on the last week of January when I saw her all alone in the field for the third time. I guess she was practicing since she was in her gym clothes. She walked over to the nearest bench. I sat down next to her.

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked her, remembering the last time we talked here.

"Yes, I have."

"With whom?"

She looked away. I guess it was too personal. I was about to apologize when she answered.

"With someone I shouldn't have."

I looked at her. I don't know why but it seemed like my chest hurt.

"Shouldn't have?"

"He was a close friend of mine back in my old school. I guess life was just too cruel making me fall in love with him. You see, he had a weak heart and just when I was ready to tell him I love him, I received a text message from his parents telling me he died that morning." Macy looked like she was about to cry but a minute of silence has passed and no tears came out.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm over it. Why did you ask anyway?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to."

Macy got up from the bench. "Well, then—"

"You have to go?" She nodded her head. She looked at me with a soft expression then walked away.

It was the last Tuesday of the month March when I saw her alone again. I kind of already realized I liked Macy. It was raining and she was standing there again without any umbrella.

I walked up to her. She looked so serene and her eyes were closed.

"I guess it just couldn't anymore…" I heard her say. She opened her eyes and was startled to see I was standing in front of her.

"You're gonna get sick." I told her.

Silence.

"Hey, Mace. Are you always here?" I asked her, trying to make her respond.

Silence.

"Macy Misa?" I snapped my fingers. I guessed that pulled her out of what she was thinking earlier.

"Uh, sorry."

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I'm just thinking that life must really hate me." I was a bit taken aback. Whenever we were with our friends she's always this bubbly, hyper and optimistic girl. And I know she also has this very serious side to her but I didn't know she could get this gloomy.

"Why would you think that?" I asked her.

"A lot has happened." I waited for her to continue but she didn't.

"Don't ever think that, okay? You're probably the strongest person I know."

She laughed a bitter laugh.

"Uh, I have to go." She walked away, drenched in the rain. And I probably won't see her for a long time.

It was the first day of class. I just got back from the tour a week before. The day went by in a blur. Hugs coming from almost everyone I knew. I really missed school. As usual, the five of us were together but that afternoon, I followed Macy from the library to the field. We sat down on the grass. There was a long silence. I couldn't stand it.

"How are you, Mace?" I asked her. The last time I talked to her alone wasn't a good one.

"Fine, I guess."

I looked at her. I just noticed now that she looked thinner and there were dark circles under her eyes. She's not fine, that I could tell.

"You're not. Tell me." I stared into her eyes.

"What is there to tell, Nick Lucas? I said I'm fine. And if I do have problems, I don't have any obligations to tell you about them."

That stung. I kept quiet.

"You were the one who told me I was strong. And if you really believe that then I'm fine."

"Okay, sorry, Mace. It's just that… I'm worried about you." I told her.

"Thanks for the concern. Anyway, I have to go."

I guess Macy was trying to avoid being alone with me since I don't see her every time I go to the football field. But I guess Wednesday's my lucky day. It was already August.

I saw her out there sitting on the grass, deep in thought judging by the way she was staring at something from afar.

"So, heard from Stella you weren't eating well." She turned her head towards me.

"I am eating well, Nick."

"That's not what I heard. No wonder you've become so skinny." I told her, looking straight at her eyes. The circles under them have become darker.

"I don't see what's wrong in being thin." She looked away.

"There's nothing wrong with being skinny but you're doing it in a wrong way. Stella told me you've become bulimic. She heard you gagging in the girl's comfort room."

"Look, you're just my friend, Nick. And I know, you're worried but it's my body. I have the right to decide what to do with it."

"I'm just telling you it's not good for you!"

"I know that already!"

"Then stop it! Why do you have to be skinny anyway?"

"None of your business. Why are you so worked up about this anyway?" She asked me.

"Because I love you, Macy!" Oh, crap.

She stared at me like I was going nuts.

"Look, I have to go."

It was already November. I saw her sitting on the field as usual. She looked so fragile, like the wind could blow her away.

"You shouldn't have said that."

"I know."

I admit I was scared of what she's about to say next.

"Nick, you're an important friend to me. Probably, the closest guy friend I have. And because of that I don't want to hurt you." She tried to smile, I could tell. She looked me in the eyes.

"Sorry, Nick."

My body felt numb. It just hurts too much. "Mace, you said you don't want to hurt me but this feels worse." I sounded too bitter.

"Trust me. It's gonna hurt more if you decide to keep loving me." No, I won't let this end like this.

"I can't imagine it hurting more than this." I tried to keep my voice strong. Now is not the time to go weak.

"My sister's husband left her. My parents are now divorced. The only guy I loved died even before I told him I loved him. Nick, why would you even love someone who's lost all of her hopes in love? I don't know if I can still love you back, Nick." She smiled apologetically.

"_I'm just too broken." _

With that, she left me standing there.


End file.
